Warrior

I don’t want to be broken. I don’t want to do breathing exercises. I don’t want panic attacks. I don’t want my ordinary existence to be plagued by a mental illness. I want a plain, simple life. I want to be happy and healthy. I can’t bear struggling for basic things which come so easily to others. I don’t want to plan anymore. I don’t want to have my heart racing frantically just because of changes in patterns in my daily life. Even though I know that I am strong, I can’t be that person. Even though I can handle my vulnerable pieces, I can’t put a smile everyday on my battered self. I just want the world to instead stop trying to mend me. I want the doctor to stop saying that I have to look at the glass halfway full. I know I get angry, I know I ditch people, I also know that I keep apologising. But that is my way of coping. I am just running away for myself and I don’t want to be found right now. Can the world to stop labelling my behaviour as being cowardly? Because I want to be my own Warrior in this battlefield.

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