He tells me,
With sea-green glasses,
I am a mirror image,
A copy-cat who has hope for sure.
If only he knew,
The pilgrimage he is on,
Shall not render,
As the copy-cat will stay gone.
In their eyes I am boring. “Go out! Make some friends! Don’t hide! Do things that are cool! Stop wasting time!” Because if you do not undertake an activity, you are considered crap. I think it’s a little sad that that’s what’s normal; that seizing the day is. In the outside world there are tons of people who dislike what they do, and yet, there they are, being adults, being responsible and marching courageously through their problems. And I can’t.
So, I pretend. I make plans; fill my agenda with a list of things, so mama knows that her child is not being wasted. Then, I lie in bed, reading all day. I certainly don’t feel I am hollow. I just find myself when I am with me.